Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

Hi @tonys  and @maddison , I wasn't around much last week as wasn't coping well, and tend to be absent when that happens. Back on board now. 

I am going to test your theory on how long the system allows us to compose a post...I've noted the time I started typing this post...then I hopped up and made a coffee...then I hopped up and toasted some crumpets, one with Promite and one with marmalade...now I'm about to go on Facebook in another tab while this post sits here and autosaves the content...we'll see! 😄

...Crumpets eaten (yum!), adding a small line...

...At the 15 minute mark now...will wait a bit longer...

...will aim for 30 minutes...at the 25 minute mark now...

OK! Half an hour this post has been sitting there waiting...now to send! 😄

[maddison]

Oooh great idea @NatureLover 

I like this tech experiment. I am following along.

So good to hear you are feeling better this week.

Yes, I do the same & need to step away from time to time. Beautiful self care you have shown.

[maddison]

Great observation @Steven78 

I think there is a quote about " no-one ever changed the world by thinking about it"

It sounds like you are feeling excluded, or forgotten about by those you had higher expectations of.

Some people thrive being on their own. Others need people. I'm a mix. I really do value & need human connection though.

Did you think about the 3 things?

I guess if you were to write it down, it would be considered an action or behaviour.

I would be interested to read them if you felt comfortable sharing of course.

I wonder... If you were to mentally write them down... Is that an action, or a thought....?

Have you heard this quote before?

  

The start is thought.

The thought is gratitude.

THANKYOU for sharing @Steven78 

Your words are not in vain. Isolation is dehumanising. You remind me that we are fragile humans. I want things to change for you.

[Steven78]

The start is connections but as I wrote previously ,people would have to understand that and respect the importance of that in order to understand my position.

I see from this forum that isolation isn't thought of in order for connections to be made which isn't beneficial to anyone .

There is a staggering difference between loneliness and isolation!! In fact they are realms apart. But anyway writing about it is an act of frivolity when the people reading the words aren't interested in that.

[Steven78]

Made the start ,held out my hand ..reached out.

Only to be told that connections on here aren't possible !! So yes I made the start and was completely annihilated

[pamplemousse]

@Steven78 I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like you haven't been able to connect properly here. We always want to ensure everyone here is getting the most out of the forums and feels comfortable and supported. We're here to help you build more connections and feel settled in this community 🙂 

[maddison]

Yes @Steven78 

Lonliness can be experienced within the midst of a crowd of people.

Isolation is when you realise you can't remember the last time you spoke out loud & wonder if you still know how.

Can you relate to this?

Can you describe your experience of isolation to me?

Question: do you feel any connection writing to me? Or reading my replies?

[Steven78]

Hi. No worries was made aware that it's against guidelines to talk ,communicate outside of this forum.

It's been made clear that I can't communicate with anyone from the forum outside of this. That is unfortunate as Im suffering greatly from isolation, but not surprising.

It's dehumanizing.

[Steven78]

Great , so do you want to talk to me ? I mean actually talk as opposed to writing ? You don't have to. But I'll leave that with you ..it's entirely up to you.


Connection is made by talking not writing .

And that's down to the importance one places on communication .

[maddison]

I agree with you 100% @Steven78 

Talking is the basis of communication, & thus a powerful facilitator of connection.

Writing is a substitute & something I avoided for years.

If your name '78 reflects your birth year, then we are a year apart!

Our childhoods were not 'virtual'. Computers & internet did not exist. (Thank goodness - how lucky we were to be in the last generation that knew of a life before the internet)

The kids growing up today will likely see communication & connection vastly different than we do. Writing on a computer screen to another person will be totally 'normal'!

For our generation, it is impersonal. I avoided text type relationships for years, for this very reason. I don't want a "virtual" connection with another human, made up of zero's and 1's. It's offensive.

Is this the frustration you are expressing?

I have been  active on this site for around 6 months now. And it wasn't a exactly a deliberate choice to use this medium of communication. I'm here because of a sequence of circumstances.

In the beginning (& still now) it felt unfamiliar, foreign & my instinct was to reject it.

I eventually, with a heavy sigh, accepted that this is the new world now. I must move with the times.

Fast forward 6 months - I am astonished, I can actually make somewhat of a connection with people. It by no means replaces real life (& that makes me sad for the kids & future generations who will "over-rely" on its use)

The connections I have made, are truly valuable to me.

This has extended into my real life, in how I see myself & how I engage with others.

I have struggled to find "my people" in the real world. It was a very happy accident that I found them here.

The last place I expected them be.....! Life is strange sometimes.

It has also given me the idea to believe in connections in the real world. Something I had lost hope in.

I think @tyme mentioned this to you few days ago. It's a kind of launching pad - if you want it to be....

Have you heard the phrase " a good cook never blames his instruments"?

This forum is sought of the opposite. It's a tool.... Not as good as the real thing... You have the power to use it (or not) Could it benefit you? You choose.