Lived Experience Forum

[Oaktree]

@PeppyPatti 

I feel you too. My whole sense of worth was tied up in being a Mother. It’s like who am I now that they have grown up. I have that in common with you too, my youngest is not talking to me either and if breaks my heart. She was the most wanted and I probably spoilt her because of it. I had two boys and always wanted a little girl. Am I so unloveable for her to reject me?

[saturnzoon]

. 

Slept last night till 2.30am and couldn't go back to sleep.

Been writing things down to show my psychologist whenever I have her next and going to ask about the feeIngs of loneliness and if there's anything camd do to lessons the feelings.

I went to Diamond Art this morning with my support worker and someone I knew came the morning and my anxiety flared up, she's a lovely person but I kept saying to myself please don't come over and of course she did, she asked how I was and my head was blank, I just said not doing to good and then that was it, I just wanted to be swallowed up. I3was trying to think of things to say but nothing I  felt so embarrassed as I've known her for a while through church that I Don't go to that one anymore and I needed to take some anxiety meds to try and calm down cause I always feel stupid when I see everyone else talking and I'm just sitting there like a zombie. 

I have never felt that you don't care about us @Appleblossom sometimes we just don't feel to good in minds, but you always help and think of things that may help.

I'm similar @Oaktree when my older 3 kids left and I left ex, I did not expect to feel lonely and found out I always had it but the kids kept me so busy didn't relize it was there and then got told it's Empty Nest Syndrome which I  had heard of it before but didn't understand it then and that's when I found out about our Sane forums while I was in hospital. 

I know a bit of how you feel @Doldip15 my childhood growing up triggers me as well specially if it's my youngest brother even now. I am so sorry your struggle with psychical health as well. I'm so glad that being in the garden makes you feel safe and at peace, we all need something like that.

Please whenever you don't feel safe or just want to chat come on this forum or any others you see we all understand what it's like and it really does help us, where like a family and friends on here have some good suggestions to try that we would not think about, but our best thing is that we care no matter what the situation is and will help as much as we can.

I have been where you are @Doog everything just feels to much and no one understands except on here we do. We have some great Community guides and Peer Support Workers so please reach out as they are amazing

Thank you @tonys @cloudcore @Glisten 

 @PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge 

[Oaktree]

Hi @saturnzoon 

You did better than me today. I was supposed to go to art group this morning but I talked myself out of it because a bunch of us go and we sit around a table together but we don’t talk to each other. I just thought you know what, I can’t be bothered with that today! Don’t see the point really 

[Meowmy]

@Oaktree @saturnzoon @PeppyPatti @tyme hello everyone think loneliness can be taking up our personal loads alone in silence and fight through tears and pains.

[Lila3]

@PeppyPatti I'm not sure I fully understand what you're saying but I want to. Can you please tell me a bit more,

[Shaz51]

hello and hugs @Lila3 , @PeppyPatti , @Meowmy , @Oaktree , @Glisten , @Appleblossom , @PinkFlamingo , @Jynx , @tyme ❤️

[PeppyPatti]

Oh @Oaktree 

Yes. My youngest ended up - weirdly getting a lot more than my oldest son. 

I wasn't the best Mum, I made mistakes. Their father and I were very Immature and he- their father psychically destroyed me.  But that's the past and I've dealt with that. On my sons for many many years I asked them to forgive me but after the original grief and communication it turned itself around to blaming me for their Fathers issues. 

On my youngest son, he was so so ill. My parents continual interference in our relationships drove huge problems in our relationships. I felt ripped apart. 

And my sons suffered. 

When 

[PeppyPatti]

Always thinking of you Apple.

@Appleblossom 

@tonys @cloudcore @Glisten 

 @PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge 

[PeppyPatti]

Oh I apologise @Lila3  I meant to get back to that message. 

My ex husband is diagnosed chronic paranoid schizophrenia. Many years ago can't remember I was scouting around trying to find support and found Sane forums. 

Since then, we broke up after and I divorced online but I noticed that he was changing too. I ended up dating someone else and I was visiting my ex husband every day because I was worried.

@tonys @cloudcore @Glisten 

  @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge 

But we ended up becoming besties - I would so love for him to meet someone just to quell a loneliness he has but ........where does people with mental health meet others who are vulnerable ?? 

•  

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @Glisten 

Thank you @tonys @cloudcore @Glisten 

 @PeppyPatti @Bill16 @Meowmy @Snowie @Jynx @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @SmilingGecko @Lila3 @Jacques @PizzaMondo @Shaz51 @TAB @tyme @Healandlove @TideisTurning @Josie72 @Adge 

Yeah I so so loved University as  mature aged student. 

I just don't see any of them anymore though via choise. 

 my sons live their own lives. But at least my oldest calls me. My youngest son - it's been 3 years since iv spoken to him. What did I do wrong ??