Lived Experience Forum

[NatureLover]

@chibam , I feel that psychologists and therapists are there to provide a support service. We are the ones paying for the service. 

I don't feel that we need to blindly obey them. 

For instance, my psychologist (who I trust) brought up last year that she thought I had autism. After my initial shock, I researched it thoroughly. I also asked her why she thought this. She gave me 12 points, all of which I disagreed with. I could point to other reasons (like my MIs) for all of the 12 points. 

So ultimately, I disagreed with her and we've agreed to let it be. In many, many other ways she is an invaluable help to me. 

The fact that your therapist was dictating how things should be is wrong, IMO. About money, sexuality, religion or any other values. 

So I think the "line" you mentioned can be drawn by asking: Is the therapist listening to me and taking on board what I tell them? Is the therapist serving my needs as a support service for me? (That doesn't mean agreeing with everything we say.) Is the therapist dictating how to live my life in terms of values like sexuality, money, religion, gender? Does the therapist spend the whole session talking about themselves?

I agree that no-one is perfect, including therapists. It would've saved me a whole lot of identity stress if my psychologist hadn't brought up autism, and she admitted that she shouldn't have brought it up - it served no purpose.

I don't think you should feel at all guilty for not fitting in with your horrible therapist's plan. Or being compliant. Not being compliant with her probably saved you from more damage.

Hugs @chibam 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity , I'm sorry you were too unwell for your visitor yesterday. I hope today feels better. 

I can imagine that if you have to be at the hospital early, you will probably have to leave in the dark to catch public transport? You said the hospital is far away 😢

For many reasons, I'm not up to working a paid job. At my volunteer job, I can take mental health days whenever I need (which is a lot). I can also say "I'm not up to doing that" if a staff member asks me to do something. 

I hope that today is successful for you in whatever you decide to do ❤️

[chibam]

Thanks, @NatureLover .🙂🤗

[Dimity]

@NatureLover if I'd taken public transport it would probably take about 3 hours. The taxis were expensive but more direct, and I have a taxicard so only pay half fare.

I'm sorry you and @chibam had such bad experiences with therapists.  I had a therapist once whose preconceptions and assumptions only emerged years down the track, as they weren't explicitly stated, and I was surprised as I realised he'd had very little understanding despite years of contact. He was actually struck off for his dealings with other patients.

Good luck with the boxes, if you decide to continue with them over the weekend. I'll have to redress a week and a half's inactivity, if I'm up to it. 

[NatureLover]

I'm glad you were able to take a taxi with the taxicard...it was worth going through that application process! 

Oh gosh - you had a therapist who was struck off?! 😮  @Dimity 

I'm not working on the shed boxes any more at the moment - I've got out from the shed all that I needed to put in the new storage trunk. But I do need to go to Bunnings again. And work on the inside of the house this weekend. 

I actually ended up with 3 tradesmen inside my house yesterday 😮 - and 2 were unexpected! The handyman knocked without warning, he also rang an aircon specialist for me, plus I finally had the smoke detector test. I managed to cope with all that - amazing! 

I'm home today, then an errand day tomorrow. 

I hope that you're feeling stronger and able to do some things you want... 🤞

[Dimity]

Well done coping with all 3 tradies @NatureLover - 3 at once should mean 1/3 the clean-up afterwards. And well done for setting up the trunk.

I'm trying to catch up on cleaning but could hardly walk today so was slow and things went wrong. I'll try again tomorrow to fix the vacuum cleaner. Hopefully it will be a better day.

Good luck with your errands tomorrow - both the going out and the unpacking afterwards. 

[NatureLover]

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@Dimity wrote:

3 at once should mean 1/3 the clean-up afterwards.

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You're right - I hadn't articulated it to myself, but that was what I was feeling @Dimity . They mostly touched different areas of the house, but I must've been feeling strong that day luckily.

You have great insight and memory...such an attentive friend, thank you. 

Sorry to hear things went wrong yesterday and that the vacuum cleaner is broken. It isn't that old, is it? I though it was fairly new?

I'm going out to Bunnings shortly...am reluctant to spend more money at the moment, but I need the items and would only be putting it off if I didn't go. 

I tagged you in a forum changes thread that has now been temporarily locked - about new categories for the sections of the forum. For instance, combining the Lived Experience and Carers forums. But the feedback will be open all month I think. 

I really hope you feel some easing of your pain today and can walk better 🤞❤️

[Dimity]

@NatureLover I'll muse over what to contribute, if anything  re forum categories. I don't really use them. But I respect the need for carers to communicate with other carers, and feel sometimes those on the "other side" from each other don't always comprehend each other's concerns.  Cross fertilisation has its place but sometimes people need their space.

The new stick vacuum has been problematic from the start. It doesn't empty cleanly and is always clogging and needing disassembly  from the complicated filters to the tubes. And it's difficult to store as it's so top-heavy and I don't have a spot to mount a wall bracket. 

Yes thanks the pain has eased, it was unbearable Saturday but I'm still not walking anywhere much. 

Well done for braving Bunnings. I did too, it was hard but I got most of what I needed and ordered something else online.

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dimity , am so pleased to hear your pain has eased a little. ❤️

Sorry to hear your stick vacuum seems to be a lemon, what a bugger.

Well done for braving Bunnings - it's more than I did! My agoraphobia kicked in. Plus I'm undecided about buying the shadecloth or not so may take more time to think about it. 

[Dimity]

Putting up shade cloth can be tricky @NatureLover . Some people use ready-made shade sails but it's still probably a job for the handyman.

I'll try to catch up on cleaning and decluttering this weekend. I've been busy and distracted this week and forgot to do my paperwork today - just remembered it now!