Not Coping

[tyme]

Hello hello @Birdofparadise8 ! How are you?

Have we guess the answer to your 20 questions' item yet?

[Birdofparadise8]

Hi @tyme 

I’m really struggling to be honest I’ve had a crap day. 

I did see my psych today so that was good it was very intense I hope I haven’t worried him to much. 

Yeah it has been answered.

How are you @tyme hopefully doing better then me? 

[tyme]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

Sorry your day hasn't been so good today.

I hope it'll get better for you.

For me, my day has been pretty good. I've faced a number of challenges, but nothing that I can't tackle.

Life just seems to continually throw challenges, but I guess that's what keeps us going. Would life be boring otherwise?

Hugs @Birdofparadise8 . You deserve it 🙂

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah everything sucks but true it would be boring. @tyme 

My cousin has reached out to me in regards to my letter. I’m a bit upset about it to be honest. Looks like I won’t be talking to her for a bit. I can’t believe she says I can’t talk about a negative demeanor I’m literally depressed what does she expect. I don’t even know how to respond to her. I didn’t even feel I’ve been using her though. 

Hey my week has been good, glad though it’s the week end.
Thank you for your letter and I hope you had a good day and didn’t get too wet with the rain.

In regards to your letter,
for clarification, I am not comfortable with any conversations about your mental health. I am setting boundaries I need, to feel comfortable with you. They are my personal boundaries.
I feel you have taken advantage of my time and my availability and my kind nature.

Text and conversation I like:
-positive topics
-positive updates on your life

Text and conversations I find impactful:
-Anything mental health(self-harm, suicide, depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts.)
-excessive complaining about uni, family, friends.
-general negative demeanour

I still value your company and I want you a part of my life but I don’t know what our friendship would look like without the mental health issues.
I am available on Fridays between 5:00-5:30pm and this is when I can answer texts from you that were sent earlier in the week or texts on Friday or take your call.

[tyme]

Wow @Birdofparadise8 .

How do you feel about it?

[Birdofparadise8]

I’m pretty upset to be honest I don’t know what to do. @tyme 

[tyme]

Hey @Birdofparadise8 ,

I can see why you would be so upset. This is not an abnormal reaction.

For tonight, perhaps it is about finding ways to distance yourself with what has happened (I know this is hard), until you can look at what has happened from a more rational/objective view?

Argh... I feel like I'm not saying this right. I'll give you an example instead. 

Many times, when something upsetting happens to me, I react while still emotional. That is, I may phone the person and lash out. I may write a hurtful email/text, I may act impulsively. Often, I regret my actions afterwards. When I have given myself time and distance to digest the hurt, I seem to be able to react in a more 'wise' way - hence the idea of the 'wise mind' in DBT.

Please let me know if i still don't make sense.

Hugs, tyme

[Former-Member]

Yes I can see why you would be upset. Take your time to process this and what you need to do. This is a very upsetting situation 😔

Sitting with you @Birdofparadise8 💙

Xx

[Birdofparadise8]

Mmm it sucks big time I’m definitely going to have to process this now. Why does things have to keep getting worse week after week like seriously. @Former-Member @tyme 

Can I show you the letter I wrote to my cousin it might give some context to what she has said. 

[Former-Member]

Just have a little look at the guidelines, just incase it breaches any or may be triggering for others https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage. You could email it to us if you like too? team@saneforums.org

💜

@Birdofparadise8