New job

[Balkey]

Hello. I am new to the forum but have been struggling with mental health issues for most of my working life. I am hoping someone will read this post and be able to provide me with some guidance. I apologise for the long post in advance. I started what was supposed to be my dream job in April of this year. Due to financial issues the place where I work is trying to save money so new staff are being placed in open space hubs (basically 8 rows of computers in a centre area with lattice work divisions between each computer- people come and go as they need and the printer/ kitchenette are all in the same space. After about a fortnight of sitting at my next workspace I started feeling really sick all the time, severe stomach pain, nausea, headaches, uncontrollable shaking, that sort of thing. Long story short I have PTSD and probably ADHD. Haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD but the psychologist I am seeing says I have symptoms. I stupidly told my site manager that I was diagnosed with PTSD and it was triggered by the noisy area where I was seated. Their response was to offer me a workspace one row away from where I am currently sitting. Anyway, I since I started working here I have been told by my site supervisor that I will be responsible for one particular aspect of the work going forward. Prior to my site supervisor going on holidays I was still under the impression that I would be working on this area in the new year. Was informed by a colleague that in fact they would be working on the area and I would be doing something completely different and have less responsibility than originally told. Now I just received an email from my site supervisor (who is still on holidays) informing me that I in fact will be working on the different aspect and that if I have any questions I need to speak with the groups manager. Now I can get my head around working in a new area, learning new things but I want to know if my feelings of anger are justified since there was no discussion with me about the change in roles and that neither my site supervisor nor manager actually told me anything in person. Am I Catastrophising, or as a well adjusted professional is there actually something going on and how to I ask without getting over emotional and shutting down? And feedback or suggestions most welcome. Thank you.

[scruffypuffball]

@Balkey 

I told my workplace I had anxiety and panic attacks after I lost my parents.  They had to advise me to take leave - 3 months off.  I told them that if I did that, I might get worse and that instead I would take leave gradually.  I think when you tell them something like that, they have to act on it, otherwise if things get worse and you make a workcover claim the employer has to show Workcover that they are actively doing something to help you.  It is more a response to prevent a liability issue, that is the role of HR, really.  You could say that you really enjoyed other aspects of your role taken away and that the issue was more to do with seating rather than the role itself causing those symptoms.  And yes, they did not do the right thing by not consulting you first about any changes.  They should have sat down with you and spoke to you face to face about the changes.

But I know what you mean about open plan offices.  They are awful.  Whoever invented them needs a good smack.

[Balkey]

@scruffypuffball thank you for your reply. I feel really stuck since this job has the potential to be as close to my dream job as I probably will ever get, since these jobs are really competitive to get and I have been trying so hard to demonstrate that I can do this only to have the rug ripped out from under me. I know I need to ask for more information but I am so scared that they will fire me because I am being difficult.

[tyme]

Hey @Balkey ,

That sounds stressful. I wonder if your workplace is willing to work with you through this?

What do you think you’ll do?

[Balkey]

Hi @tyme 

right now all I want to do is quit and walk away from everything. I honestly don’t know what to do. I was hoping someone on this forum might have experience or suggestions. Regards Balkey

[rav3n]

hey @Balkey i hear how frustrating it can be to be given a different area to work on without any discussions before hand. 

during covid i had a situation where my managers and a couple employees suddenly caught covid and i had to take on some manager-level duties and work extra hours (i had only completed my training a few months ago and was not ready for this). being given those new tasks with very little communication was extremely overwhelming, i felt like i didn't really get time to prepare myself for it but i did push through. as hard as it was, i am proud of myself for getting through it and i did end up learning some new skills (looks good on the resume). but yes i wish they had discussed with me beforehand instead of throwing me into the deep end.

it looks no one had a proper discussion with you around those changes, and that sudden change can make us feel a bit panicked. sometimes the communication isn't great and all we can do is our best. i guess with you site supervisor on holiday it makes the communication part a lil messy, but you can still have the discussion with them when they're back or with the group manager to let them know that you'd prefer some notice and discussion in the future when changes are made. if you want to walk away from this job, that's your choice too. 

[tyme]

Hey @Balkey ,

I'm totally hearing you. It is not uncommon at all.

From my own experiences, I wonder it it's like they draw you in by dangling a carrot on a stick, but once you are in, and if they don't like you, then they take the carrot away, and everything else with it.

Do you have opportunity to apply out? I recognise you mentioned this seemed like a dream job.

[Balkey]

Hi @tyme , @rav3n 

thanks for your reply. I think part of my problem is that I also feel stuck. Jobs in my area of expertise are pretty rare and financially I can’t afford to quit (mortgage, insurance, I am the main income for the family). I have tried to “move sideways” into a similar position in an adjacent department with no success. I guess I just have to keep working on my mindfulness and deal with the situation for as long as I can.

Thanks for the words of support.

[tyme]

It sounds vicious to be caught up in a place of work you aren't enjoying, yet you know that you need the work to keep things afloat.

Do you keep your eye out on what's available out there? @Balkey 

Whilst I have work, I tend to always keep my eye out on what's available on the market. I subscribe to the notifications so I get emails every night about what's available in the field I'm looking into.

I feel that this also shows me the direction the market is heading.