Lived Experience Forum

[cozy_726]

After a lot of thinking, I think my anxiety comes from the stress of expectations from people. Where the greater the expectation, the more stressful it is, such as my dad wanting me to of had finished uni a while ago and to have gotten a full time job by now. Also, like uni, its high risk high reward, so that makes it even more stressful.

On the other hand, if I make expectations for myself, it doesn't matter how hard it is, I can eventually achieve it and it'll be almost stressfree. Like learning how to draw, edit videos, coding etc.

It just feels horrible, I feel trapped by these expectations. I forgot what it was about exactly, but in the past I was threatened with being kicked out by my dad. So with these expectations and the chance of being kicked out still in the back of my mind, its just so much stress. It may be different now, but its just that those what ifs still lurk. Its like work, if you of course don't to a job you can get fired, but the risks are much more with this one, because you can possibly get kicked out of the family and its not like you can go and find another family.

I just feel horrible right now. I just want all of this to stop, I want to do my own thing for once for my own sake not because of others. I don't want to be trapped, I don't want to be forced into something where I can loose everything all because someone said you have to or something.

[lavenderhaze]

Hey @cozy_726 

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure from others' expectations, which is really tough.

It's great that you've noticed how much better you do when you set your own goals. It shows you know what works for you. Feeling trapped by what others expect, especially with the fear of being kicked out, is really stressful.

Remember, it's okay to prioritise your well-being. Maybe talking to someone you trust or a professional could help you find ways to handle these expectations and communicate your needs to your dad. Are there any professional or personal supports you can rely on?

You're not alone in this, and seeking support to create a life that feels right for you is okay.

If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.

[Tilz]

@cozy_726  Totally agree with you. Expectations are hard to bear when things not go as it is. We cant change the way parents thinks. I think you better not think seriously about what they say. I mean not ignoring them. But don't take it as a hard knock to your mind. Just listen and do what's best for you

[cozy_726]

@lavenderhazeNot sure, since I might be doing another uni semester I'll contact the wellbeing at my uni and ask for some help.

[cozy_726]

@TilzI think thats the thing with me. When I'm in a work mode or professional environment I can separate the feelings and not take it personally. However, since its with my family, it has a very deep effect. I'm not sure how to find the balance.

[cozy_726]

I've just submitted a mental health counselling thing for my uni to get some help with this.

So hopefully soon I can talk to someone and get some help.

[tyme]

That's a really good idea @cozy_726 . Use the resources that are available to you at uni. That's what they are there for.