Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

[MDT]

Hi all.

I have made a new thread here. I need to do this to make it feel real and important or else it'll just be another comment I make on an already existing thread. There are many areas in my life where I feel like giving up. I don't really care how irrational it may sound. I don't care if it's silly. It's just how it is for me at the moment.

I've never been as good as what I am now (on paper) and I put that down to the supportive environment here on the forums.


But I am struggling again.

There are many things on my mind and in my life that are causing me to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew about family and friends. I need to review some things again.

I am also getting lazy around my physical health and diet. I eat a lot more rubbish and I've put on some weight (in the bad way). I used to be quite skinny but then I went to the gym and sorted that out. But lately I have had 0 motivation for exercise because I find it so boring. It's just really boring. I have no enjoyment in it anymore. I think I never really did, but I did it just to be healthy. Now I just don't care. I don't see any utility in doing it anymore.

I feel like giving up on dating. There are just too many fake people in the world and I am exhausted by it. I am also thinking that my lack of relationship in early 20s and late teens is a turn off for many girls my age. I'm trying to see the benefits in my situation but I don't believe there are any.

My sister's health is progressively getting worse. So is her social health. She is having fights with her friends. Mum babies her about a lot. It's not helping. Dad has given up I think. And he is also likely doing "things" behind my mum's back and she is turning a blind eye to it. I have no input on any of that so I simply have to sit by and watch it go down.

I hate my job but getting money is important. I had this conversation with my parents the other day. They seem to have the belief that I can get into something I want to do. I don't. I am trying to find the light and the way forward with that but I don't know how they can see it. I have a desire to go into journalism/writing. But that environment is so political and I don't think I'm able to "pick a side". My internship taught me how I can do it. But it's just such an effort. I don't know if I have the stamina to get there.

I think that's all I can think of for now. I am sitting here on my pc playing a videogame and waiting for food to arrive. I am worried I will just get worse if nothing is done. But that urgency seems small compared to anything else I can do.

In a nutshell - I am not well.

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @greenpea @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @EOR @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Aeiou @Molliex @Smc
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@Scarecrowe 

[MDT]

@Sans911 @Snowie @Bill16 @Jacques

yous as well as I have spoken to here before for a while

[Jacques]

hi @MDT ,

it is really hard when you give up on life, everything can get on top of us over time. maybe take time to  re-evaluate life and think of what is really important, have you thought about getting back to nature or going on a trip to get a break from day to day problems, or doing some charity work? it can be really rewarding and help see things in a new light. 

i met my partner 7 years ago, and before that i have never dated before, i never thought any woman would ever want me, yet i did find someone i love dearly, you will meet someone when you least expect it. 

stay strong my friend. i know what it is like when one loses hope on life. there are beautiful and inspiring things in the world we just need to take time to find them and enjoy them.

Jacques

[Snowie]

Hi @MDT 

Thanks for the tag

I'm sorry to see that you aare struggling. I hope talking through it on here and receiving support on the forum.

Lots of love and hugs

[Dani1981]

Hello,

I think its a wonderful thing to reach out. I used to reach out to friends and family but I have isolated myself over the last two months and it has been awful. 

I am so glad my sister's psychiatrist got me onto this site. 

Life is definitely tough (understatement of the year), but I find that I need to work on being well first, and then everything else follows. For example, I have not been to the gym in ages either, it is hard work to get myself motivated. But I have been generally miserable over the last few weeks, so I am trying to forgive myself for this. When I am feeling better, I know I will want to go.

I am ashamed of the things I have done over these last 2 months. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So if I can even fathom forgiving myself for these things, I think it's safe to say, you can give yourself a break too? Work on getting well?

I know I'm not an expert and I'm sorry for my long reply, I hope you feel better soon.

[BlueBay]

Hey my awesome friend @MDT 

I'm sorry you're struggling so much at the moment. I feel for you and I also understand. I can relate to your zero motivation for exercise as I'm a not  like thst too. 
pls take care 

thinking of you. ❤️

[MDT]

Thanks @BlueBay @Dani1981 @Snowie @Jacques

I haven't got much to say other than thanks 🙂

IT means a lot when you say these things.

I am just having a very rough time of late

[Dani1981]

Hello @MDT ,

You're very welcome!! Do what makes you happy 🙂 Right now I've youtubed 1980's Tamil Songs... And I couldn't be happier 🙂 Thoughts keep trying to creep in but I'm chasing them out!!

[MDT]

I hope it helps hey @Dani1981

Take care. Nice to meet you as well

[MDT]

I may not go out tomorrow for St Pats day event a friend is running as it will be a wet and cold day. I might feel different in the morning idk. Corona Virus has me a bit anxious too

Take care all