I know how you feel. My wife was diagnosed with Schizophrenia last year and I have to constantly remind myself that she has an illness. It makes for a difficult marriage, but be patient. Some times acceptance is letting things be as they are, not what you desire them to be. As spouses we took oath to love and care for our partners no matter what. My advice is to be careful - depression is cruel and as you point out selfish, but it's also a calling that something needs to change. If you can, let your husband discover what that is for himself and be the gentle hand when he needs it. I have had depression myself and it was a long road to recovery - trust me. All the best.
