Hello @Henry2
I have been reading your posts and your story twigs memories of my second husband when his wife left him and he was so lost! I wonder if you are able to deal with washing and cooking and shopping and the everyday things we take for granted as these things he didn’t know how to do! He would buy packs of 10 pairs of underwear at a time until he had so many undies they could fill the line on their own! The butcher gave him instructions on how to cook roast meat, so roast became his favourite and successful meal! Work his only company! Except for occasional trips to the Casino with a mate! That was excitement for him and how I met him! I was asked to drive him when his mate was not available!
As for your loneliness now, I have been trying to think of ideas for you that are safer than a Casino!
Depending on your age, there’s things like U3A where you can meet people with similar interests to even play cards, learn computer skills, discuss news events, or try a new skill altogether- like Art of some kind! Like me, you can prove you’re not very good. But it’s something to do that’s positive, meeting new people and taking you into an environment where you’re welcome! If you look up council website, it will give you a list of available activities, with and without your dog! If you sign up for one, I find meeting someone with whom you make a connection is more of an accident if you like, not something you can count on, but when it happens, it usually leads to a nice friendship! It’s a matter of joining in with something! I volunteered at the local Community Centre! They value a hand with all sorts of things! Keeps you busy and friendship might come later! It’s taking that frightening step out of the confines of loneliness, into the fear of rejection, and simply being yourself. Tell the person inside your head dictating your fears that you’re trying new things for your self confidence and self esteem and you won’t be controlled by the little voice upstairs that says you won’t be accepted! My husband had a whole little band of elderly women - customers of his business- who made him special cakes, biscuits etc, to “look after him” as he was alone! When he became ill, they all volunteered to move in to care for him and he finally had to acknowledge that he had remarried, fearful of losing his treats! He was also fearful of telling me about these lovely women! And lovely they were! I lost him a long time ago!
So my advice would be to venture out there! One activity at a time! If it’s not for you, try another! There’s walking groups, Park Run (I believe you can walk), card groups, U3A, Council activities, Exercise Groups run by physios to keep older people active, all sorts! So depending on your age group- find one and try it! Just avoid things that might lead to heart ache! You don’t need it when you’re vulnerable! So no on line dating for example! You need time to heal, review your spiritual needs and understand your feelings in relationship before you try for that again too soon! Look after yourself! And keep talking! It really helps!
welcome to the Forums
@Doldip15
