My dear friend i know how you feel. Been there so often myself.
if i may suggest a method i used tgo support myself through such times? See if you can find a quiet place, where you can be on your own for sure for some time, the beach can be a awesome place here, especially during a storm, and then scream out all your anger, bitterness, disappointment into the night sky.
Do not stop until your pent up anger has stopped storming inside. And say goodbye to it, affirming to yourself the truth, that you do not like being angry like that, but often are, and that you would love to learn to productive when angry.
Then give yourself a big hug, for taking care of yourself, even when you are an angry person. Please keep doing this every time anger threatens to undo you. Try not tot agree with your anger when it is unreasonable, and self focused, but do not deny yourself your anger when you cannot do that. Just keep giving yourself release screaming into the night sky.
This simply method i have used successfully, for many years, while i was still prey to my unreasonable rages, which have often driven me psychotic in the past. And is best done on your own, in a safe place.
Today, and for some years now, i rage no more, though i still can get very angry, my anger is never unreasonable anymore, like it used to be, but i can can keep control, and do not hate myself anymore an angry person, like used to do, after my rages destroyed my relationship with my loved once more. Now my angry times, though rare now, are more and more productive, instead of destructive, for the love grown inside, looks at things very different, then things i did through the eyes of my rages.
The best part is now my frequent psychoses have ceased all together, even when triggered at my worst. Growing love, in the place of anger, is unbelievable powerful in subduing uncontrollable rages, and bringing back once self esteem.
Please be of good courage.
