Empty nester

[Amandakate]

Hi I am wondering if anyone on here has advice on how to deal with a child moving out? I have been a single parent for a long time so don’t really have that support.

thank you.

[Shaz51]

Hello and Welcome @Amandakate 

for single parent as yourself and for a couple like me , it is a big step when our children leave home to start a life of their own 

it does take time to adjust 

but are you still working ?

have any furbabies ?

have you got any hobbies ? or to explore anything that you would like to do 

here for you xx

will tag @Oaktree , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @Owlunar2 , @Ru-bee 

[Ru-bee]

Hello and welcome to the forums @Amandakate 

Not having any children of my own I can't offer advice based on my personal experience of this, but I do want to acknowledge what a difficult time this can be. It's a huge change and it's great that you're reaching out for support here.

@Shaz51 bring up some great suggestions - this might be a time where you are able to focus on things you might have wanted to do but put off for whatever reason, like picking up a hobby or taking a class in something that interests you, or joining/forming a club like a book club or movie club. It's a bonus if it's an interest that invites connection.

It could also be a good time to reach out to your existing connections - friends or family, and try to schedule some regular catch ups.

During big periods of change I generally find that I really benefit from talking to a professional, like a counsellor or psychologist, to help me through and allow me a place to safely voice and explore how I'm coping with everything.

And you can always reach out here for support too

[MJG017]

Hi @Amandakate, welcome to the forum.  I'm not a parent so I can't offer any advice there, but I do know what its like to live alone and not have much support.  I guess for me the important thing was to find connections with other people.   For a long time I just kept to myself and now realise that it wasn't very helpful and just made things worse.  So I try hard to find things to fill my week with that involve connecting with people.  Even just posting here gives me that, but I joined a board game group and some support groups, just to give me times during the week when I can get out and talk to people.

It's also important to remember it's not like you'll never see or hear from your child again and how good it is for them to be moving forward with their own life and you can still be around to support them.  Hopefully they're not moving too far away from you.

I do understand it must be especially hard having been a single parent for a long time but it's also important to find support for yourself now to fill that gap... and hopefully even more than that.  I used to work for a local community centre and they had lots of groups for people who just wanted to get out of the house and just talk to other people.  So maybe look into what is in your local area that you might be interested in.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Amandakate  and welcome to the forums 👋

A massive betrayal of my trust and subsequent divorce caused a couple of my kids to suddenly move out of home - more because they were already suffering mental health issues and the vitriol the ex directed at me when I stood up to him meant that they had to bail for their own self care.  

For the one that was left behind with me I bought a cat.  Just having a furbaby in the house helped to fill the vacuum I was feeling, and as @Shaz51 suggested, keeping busy is another strategy to help with the transition.

These are oldies but goodies -

Join a new club

Invest in some hobbies

Volunteer

Travel

Invite friends over

Go out walking more often

Hang out at a local cafe or park with a book

Go visiting family,  friends, art galleries, museums

Journalling or art-journaling

Mayne write up a list of 20 things to do and go start ticking them off, then write another one.

On your list might be choosing birthday cards, other occasion cards, or other little surprises to put away for the child leaving home, so you can post them or give them in person at a future time.

I hope these suggestions are helpful.

🌷 F&H

[Amandakate]

Thank you all for your support and kindness. 
I currently work full time and have a few fur babies so I am kept busy thanks shaz51. I just don’t seem to be able to get through the sadness i am feeling.

[Amandakate]

Thank you for the suggestions I do really appreciate it.

[tyme]

Welcome to the forums @Amandakate ,

I'm reading that things are really tough right now. 

I'm glad you have found this space - at least you can connect with some people.

We have a Peer Group Chat happening at 7pm AEST. Feel free to join us. It is on a separate platform. You can read about it here: Peer Group Chat// Break-Up Blues // Thursday 5th September 2024, 7-8:30PM AEST 

[MJG017]

@Amandakate 

Yeah, sometimes it's hard to get ourselves out of these lows.  Sometimes it just takes some time, sometimes we just need to figure out what to do.  Hopefully you start feeling better about the situation soon.  It may just take some time to adjust to the change of having to live alone.  We're here to help you through and keep you company.

[Glisten]

@Amandakate I did a Degree, got very fit and worked part-time.

Mine were only one suburb away.

G