🏳️‍🌈 IDAHOBIT 2022 – Week Long Discussion 🏳️‍🌈

[Former-Member]

🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 IDAHOBIT 2022  🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈

As an organisation and community, today we’re commemorating IDAHOBIT – International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Interphobia and Transphobia – and celebrating what is means to be LGBTQIA+.

Whilst it’s been 32 years since the World Health Organisation (WHO) declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder from the Classifications of Diseases and Related Health Problems, there is still a lot of work needed to combat the ongoing discrimination the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face.

As we stand in solidarity with our LGBTQIA+ forums members we hope to raise awareness and create a safe space for discussion surrounding both the highs (pride, resilience, community, identity as just a few) and the lows (discrimination, stigma, violence and battles faced within the workplace, sporting, educational and religious institutions) experienced by all sexual and gender diverse communities and intersex people.

By celebrating today we aim to not only challenge discrimination and stigma, but to also foster a sense of hope and solidarity.

With work still to be done to ensure barriers for the greater LGBTQIA+ are removed, we’re creating a week-long event to honour our community members who identify under the rainbow banner and to work towards continued equality.

How can you get involved?

Beginning today and running till Friday 20th May we will be posting a daily question

and inviting all our members to share their thoughts and support.

Be sure to:

1. Check back in each morning for a new question/topic and post your response

2. If you see a response that you resonate with, click the “support” button to show you are listening

3. Tag members who you feel might be interested to contribute to the discussion

4. Share resources you’ve found helpful for those reading along

What other events are happening for IDAHOBIT?

If you want to get involved with some of the other activities happening across the world on IDAHOBIT Day, you can also check out the IDAHOBIT website. Some examples include signing a pledge, joining in workplace or community-based events, or having conversations with the loved ones in your life. For resources on how to make the most of IDAHOBIT Day, check out the website above.

At SANE and in our Forums community we value open and honest discussions surrounding the reduction of stigma and discrimination, and we are committed to making this discussion a safe space for LGBTQIA+ people to share their experiences.

To keep this safe space and respect the experiences of our community, we ask that all members refresh their understanding of the community guidelines to ensure this discussion is an inclusive and welcoming one for all.

______________________________________________________________________________

Questions for Tuesday 17 May...

• Why do you believe IDAHOBIT is so important in 2022?

• What are you most proud of as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

And tagging a few community members who may be interested in taking part in the discussion @petrichor @eth @Adge @Former-Member @TheVorticon @NatureLover @Paperdaisy @hanami @tyme @Kittykelly1976 @greenspace @RedHorse @Clawde @Former-Member @Daisydreamer 

As always, let’s keep this space safe, inclusive and kind, and if any of the topics covered here cause any distress and you’d like to chat with someone, please call the SANE help centre on 1800 187 263 (Mon-Fri 10am-10PM EST), the crisis support numbers here or Qlife on 1800 184 527 (3pm till midnight everyday).

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

[MDT]

this is an interesting topic @Former-Member
I don't identify as being on the LGBTQIA+ community
I saw an interview on tv this morning on abc news and I was wondering what the phrasing of one of the hosts was.
They were talking about how there was an English footballer who recently came out.
The host said that it shouldn't be news but i mean it was at the same time.
I get confused sometimes between the argument that this sort of thing should not be news and also how they wish to raise awareness.
Would be interested to get your perspective

[Former-Member]

Hey there @MDT,

So nice to see you stopping by here and to kick the conversation off 😊

Your question is a really great one, and it's got me thinking too – in a sense, in a perfect world, it shouldn't be news if a footballer is gay, I mean that's his business and what's the difference how he identifies as we are all human. That's one argument/way to look at it.

As someone who technically fits under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, I don't feel entirely comfortable with labels because for me it's far more fluid and nuanced than that (which probably has me sitting in the pansexual category I guess) and I don't tend to "out" myself as such because I don't really feel like there is anything to "out". That's just me though, I know for many others it's super important to present to the world as their authentic self, to demonstrate pride in their identity and to raise awareness around the issues the LGBTQIA+ community face.

If we think about all the young LGBTQIA+ identifying peeps out there who are struggling to find support amongst their families, friends and community, then a high profile sportsperson coming out can help to normalise their feelings and experiences, and provide hope that there is a place in the world where they will be met with love and kindness. So from that perspective it's incredibly powerful that Jake Daniels took the stance he did and that news outlets are showing him support.

Would love to hear your thoughts @MDT, and those of anyone else reading along 😊

[Former-Member]

Our discussion starters for Wednesday are...

What are the issues you're currently facing as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community? How does this impact your health and wellbeing?

And/or what supports have you found have been most helpful?

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I'll go first 😊

I'm not sure that I'm personally experiencing any issues as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in the present, though it feels like I am. Let me explain – growing up I experienced a lot of homophobia from my peers and the community at large and I suspect that has shaped my expectations of how people may react. So a recent example of this was when I was house hunting with my partner and I was concerned that my same-sex relationship status may impact whether we would be selected as tenants. Apparently it didn't, we were offered the tenancy and moved in last week, but it's the not knowing...not knowing how we will be received in different situations because there have been many times where it was obvious we were "other" and at best don't fit in (at worst subject to abuse). 

Sharing this story with others as an example of how things that happen in the past have the potential to shape how you view the world today, and sometimes it takes a little work, and a whole lot of allyship, to undo 🌈

Tagging our beaut members who shared their support on the first thread: @Clawde @MDT @NatureLover @Krishna  @Patchworks @TideisTurning @Former-Member @TheVorticon @greenspace 

[MDT]

Yeah @Former-Member I can see all of that and it makes sense !

I sometimes think too that younger generations (sorry if you're older than me haha) may well be generally more accepting of differences in sexuality, gender, expression and identity etc. But also too I think this can depend on the environment and the locale one grows up in.

No disrespect to religious people here who may take alternative views. But I remember going to church as a teen and they told us that being gay was wrong. I think this a very toxic attitude to take it hurts people and I remember one or two people from the church group leaving. Fortunately they found acceptance elsewhere and I believe in this day and age people are more accepting of differences - at least those who are younger. But again this depends on environment and its also assuming those who are older aren't accepting which isnt always true.

Either way good chat.

[TideisTurning]

I feel like I can see what you're saying @MDT- in terms of it 'shouldn't be news', the way I understand it is the coming out or being part of the LGBTQIA+ community shouldn't necessarily seem so out of the ordinary that it makes the news... But, as you said, it still is news... Things are changing though. The story and response to Jake Daniels is one example I find encouraging and hopeful. There's also this example of two reality contestants who came out at different times reflecting on the different responses they received. That suggests to me there is movement and progress. 

I love the way you've framed it though @Former-Member, in terms of having visible examples to help validate and normalise experiences, particularly where there may've been negative experiences and discrimination, and feelings like anxiety and fear that can arise (understandably so) as a result. I don't know that there are words adequate to describe the importance and impact of seeing and knowing of other people like you out there. It shows you you're not alone on another level that only shared lived/ living experience, such as being part of the LGBTQIA+ community, can.

I will stand with and support as much as I can, but I know there are limits to the level of support I can give and the depth of understanding I will have when I am standing as a supporter/ ally as opposed to a fellow member of the community. I think that it can be important to have both supporters/ allies and fellow members because they can provide different things.  

[Former-Member]

I believe allyship is a huge part of the healing process @TideisTurning, both within ones self and the greater community. To have people stand beside you is incredibly powerful 💙💛❤️💚💜

[Former-Member]

Just on the back of what you've said @Former-Member, I also feel the anxiety over potential discrimination from other people, services, or broader society. For example, even just being in the back of an uber with my partner (who is also queer & trans), being physically affectionate always makes me tense because I have no idea how the driver might react. Whether its overt verbal harassment or refusal of service, or something more subtle like downvoting the passenger rating for no other reason. If anyone reads this and thinks "surely in this day and age, noone would do something like that" - they do and they have, unfortunately.

I feel like I could write a massive list of wellbeing-impacting issues I face due to my identities 😅 Only to begin with: constant misgendering (mostly from people who don't know me); the financial burden of gender affirming care (and how difficult it can be to access); how the gender pay gap will impact both my partner and me; how I can't speak the language of my ancestors (including travelling or living there) without psychological harm because there's a rigid gender binary within the language itself, meaning I'd have to constantly misgender myself; alienation from a lot of people including family from anticipated lack of acceptance; that the mental health of the queer and trans people in my life are often in tatters, and we have alarmingly high rates of suicide...

I say these things to give an honest indication of how much work there is to go.

But in terms of helpful supports, it always comes back to community for me 🌈

If I don't feel safe or comfortable in a mainstream event or environment, being in a space by/for the LGBTIAQ+ community will always make me feel safe and comfortable. Actually, that's just the minimum!- they also make me feel thrilled, confident, and valued ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

Also, as much as I can turn to community for safety and acceptance, I also need to state the value of people who defy expectations (when I worry about rejection) and respond with acceptance instead, and do active work towards learning and advocacy. We need the active support of allies, otherwise we won't be able to achieve what we need to (tying back to the issues above).

🌻

[Former-Member]

Big thank you to all who've taken part in the discussion thus far!

Our discussion starters for Thursday are...

Can you share a story of ally ship that has touched or changed you in some way? I.e. in the workplace, family, the Forums etc.

And/or what does a healthy, supportive, relationship look like for you?


@Former-Member @TideisTurning @MDT @greenspace @Clawde @hanami @Krishna @NatureLover @Patchworks @TheVorticon 

[MDT]

And/or what does a healthy, supportive, relationship look like for you?

In what context? @Former-Member
do you mean partner? or friendship or something like that?

But I guess as a concept generally speaking, healthy and supportive - is things like listening, acknowledging (even though you may not understand), openness and honesty. Perhaps these are better suited to relationships.
I guess friendships would be similar though in regards to openness.