admitting i have substance abuse issues for the first time

[p3rsona]

6 days ago i told a close friend for the first time that, while it’s no secret i’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with cannabis since a teen, i have also been abusing dexamphetamine for the past 3 years. i was abusing them before i got prescribed them. when i was prescribed them i would still have to spend large amounts of money on them to keep my supply running the way i liked it, which was as much as possible. i am so financially unstable, my relationship with my family is so important to me but it’s strained because of my inability to get my shit together. i used to get so much work and people have stopped calling because i stopped answering long ago. i cannot wake up. sometimes i will fall asleep for almost a whole day and then just go back to sleep. it has become impossible to come up with answers when i’m asked what i’ve been up to. i know my family wants me to say something which reflects my potential. 

i’m telling my parents tomorrow night and just so overwhelmed by it all. i’ve got an assessment booked in for a rehab and am going to book with another to compare wait times. i know that the only way i can have a chance at maintaining my abstinence from substances is if i go away somewhere and really confront what i’ve been running from my whole life. without having to put on a face to go to work. i’ve been talking to a drug counsellor from the alcohol and drug helpline who’s been really helpful. she said my challenge is to get more support, especially from people who understand. no part of my body wants to have this conversation with my parents, but i have a deep inner knowing that i have to do this now. i don’t want to live like this. i know it could be better. i’m just finding it hard to believe right now, would really appreciate any words of wisdom 🫶

[tacocat]

Hi @p3rsona 

Thanks for sharing, and welcome to the community. 

I will say, you're making all the right steps and owning your issue. You're speaking with the experts and accessing supports, wherever you can. 

That means you're approaching this correctly, and intellectually you know this. Your issue right now is emotionally-based, in how this will go with your parents, and what life will be like moving on without drugs to fall back on.

Do what you already know you need to do, whatever will happen will happen, and remember that we and your other supports are here for you know matter what happens. 

Stay strong and best of luck. 

[p3rsona]

thank you so much. i really needed to hear that. so appreciative 🙏

[Ainjoule]

Hey @p3rsona 

I have had the same substance abuse issues as you. And I'm so glad you are getting help. My issues sent me down a dark road, namely psychosis. So I very much encourage your efforts to get help. It won't be easy to start but the road to recovery is one very much worth taking, it will improve every area of your life. Welcome to the forums and good on you for seeking support. 

[CarerMum03]

@p3rsona I don't know if this will help but, speaking from the parents' point of view. When we had this discussion with our child, we were so relived. We knew something was wrong and it was excruciating watching a loved one in this much pain and not knowing how to support them. 

This is a huge step you have taken, and you should be proud that you are taking back control of your life.

I hope it goes well for you and you get the support you are hoping for from your parents.

Virtually cheering you on. 

[Asgard]

Afternoon @p3rsona 

I so can identify with your situation, I had a drug problem for 20 years, but have now been clean for 4.  So proud of you for owning up to your addiction and for putting in place all the steps needed to go clean.  Yes its going to be very hard, but it will be so worth it.

The best of luck with your parents, they proabaly already know you have a problem, but seeing you come to terms with it and actually facing it, I am sure they will surround you with love.  All the very best of your journey................Asgard