Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Ali11]

Hi @Lemonjuice, we're glad to hear that your GP has offered services to help you. You mentioned that you were cooking, do you enjoy cooking food? 

[Lemonjuice]

Yeah, I like cooking but mostly when I am in a good mood and have family together.  Lol, problem is no one in my family agrees on any food...so I usually cooking two or three variations of the same food.

[Lemonjuice]

@Appleblossom I think it has a lot to do with not feeling like you have any control in your life.  Yeah, it's dangerous carrying stuff around that can be harmful but sometimes it's the only sense of control you have...the very thing that can harm you is keeping you sane.

[Ali11]

Almost sounds like a restaurant @Lemonjuice, offering a few versions on the menu  Cooking for people is such a loving thing to do.

[Lemonjuice]

@Ali11 I know this sounds like a weird idea, but sometimes I have this desire to open a restaurant but with a difference.  Families are so busy these days and particularly women/mothers, so it would be a restaurant where dinner is served at 6pm, everyone sits at one long table and whatever is on the menu for that day that's it.  So, there might be roast leg of lamb and roast chicken with oregano, garlic and lemon,  potatoes, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, salad,  and dessert might be walnut-cinnamon cake in honey syrup and vanilla ice-cream.  Next night it might be loin chops, spinach pie and apple pie.  Etc.  There would be dancing and games...family friendly...like going to dinner to a cousin's place rather than a restaurant.  Pipe dreams of course, but if I was 20 years younger and had some money, it sure would make life worth living.

[Ali11]

Yum @Lemonjuice! That sounds like a fantastic idea, and you're right about how wonderful it would be for random families to sit around a long table and all talk to each other, like a big family meal. What would stop you from trying now? Have you looked into what kind of set up you might be able to afford if you worked at setting things up in stages?

[Lemonjuice]

@Ali11  no money and I am getting on a bit, 55 now...there's mum too.  Lol, feel free to take up that idea.

[Appleblossom]

 @Lemonjuice 

Yes I hear you about the danger, of having it in my pocket, but it seemed to help on a few levels.  It got the si thoughts out of head which was totally driving me mad, it gave me something physical to hold on to, and yes, eventually gave me some control over the obssessive thoughts and the item.

I had a lot of trouble being weirdly functional but also extremely triggered and without substantial support.

Catering for people who confuse home cooked meals with being in a short order chef is hard.

Is there anyway you can "expect" more of your nephew.  Dealing with that agrression would be very upsetting.

I liked the idea of your restuarant.  Keep some pipe dream going, Go with idea and feelings you get from achieving something with meaning for you.  It may turn out different in life, but dreaming into your future can be very powerful way to change things.  Also we are all living a little longer and i have found that life can start at 59. 

[Ali11]

If you love cooking for people, it's never too late @Lemonjuice  Even if you start small and just had a table at home so you can invite some neighbours over and build a more connected local community for yourself and them. Such a beautiful idea, even if the big dream isn't achieveable right now

[Lemonjuice]

@Ali11 you know, there is a similar alternative idea.  Whenever I talk to women in my neighbourhood, they all say the same thing, fussy eaters and too exhausted after work to cook.  At the top of our street is a library and community small community hall.  I thought that it would be interesting to see if several women or men wanted to bring a tray of home cooked meal once a week, to sit and eat together.  With so much variety, the kids are bound to eat something and it builds relationships and assuming it was ok'd by the council, it would be free.